Kdo sem jaz?

Obstaja določen trenutek v katerem oseba spozna kdo v resnici je. To je trenutek, ki definira, ki ponudi resnico o tem kdo mi smo. Nekateri iščejo velike revolucionarne ideje, ampak resnica je ta, da je tako enostavno, da moramo samo videti svoje notranje boje prvič od blizu. Tako enostavno je, da se moramo samo za milisekundo ustaviti in dešifrirati, priznati, dovoliti sebi biti točno to kar smo. Ne glede na to kar verjamemo, da je – dobro, slabo, perfektno, pokvarjeno.

Je samo prepričanje o tem, kaj mi menimo da naši notranji občutki so. Resnica je, da moč leži v tem, da vidimo kar je. Ni ničesar, ki bi bilo hkrati tako enostavno in tako kompleksno kot videti kdo mi smo. Je enostavno, ker zahteva samo, da se ustavimo in vidimo. In je zahtevno, ker zahteva, da priznamo sami sebi, kdo smo – resnično, notranje – kaj je tisto kar čutimo. Ne glede na dejstvo ali si mi to želimo čutiti ali ne.

Nazivi tega kdo mi smo, lahko padejo v kategorijo... Jaz sem jezen, Jaz sem žalosten, Jaz sem zmeden, Jaz sem nepošten, Jaz sem prestrašen, Jaz sem… karkoli že je – da smo mi. Zakaj si je težko priznati kaj je? Edina stvar, ki lahko spremeni, transformira in prevede to kar je – je videti, dovoliti, sprejeti, ljubiti to kar je. Ampak mi imamo določeno idejo, o tem kdo mi smo, kdo mi želimo biti, o tem kako želimo, da se nas vidi. Ta pogled nas drži nazaj. Na primer, če sem duhovno bitje, zdravilec, prerok, karkoli že verjamem da sem. Potem ta nalepka nosi s sabo v sebi vse podrobnosti o tem kako jaz verjamem, da prerok, zdravilec, duhovno bitje izgleda, kaj počne, kako reagira, itd.. In to je tisto kar dovolim drugim, da vidijo. Te kvalitete definiramo kot del tega, kako mi vidimo sebe. Ampak to ni resnica. Kot duhovno bitje, lahko mislimo, da moramo vedno biti zgoraj, ampak je toliko trenutkov ko smo spodaj. In tudi to je prav toliko duhovno, kot tisto zgoraj. Ni rasti brez padcev, ni sonca brez dežja. Globina razumevanja prihaja iz raziskovanja lastnih senc. To je resnica.

Da smo to kar smo, moramo prenehati lepiti nalepke. Ker vsaka nalepka podzavestno nosi s sabo pričakovanja. Pričakovanja o tem kdo bi mi morali biti, da ustrezamo nalepki. Na ta način nikoli ne bomo -to kar v resnici smo, ker bomo vedno želeli ustrezati definiciji tega, kar mi smatramo kot “duhovno”, “zdravilec”, “uspešno”. Tega ni. Sedaj je nova era – definicija tega kaj nekaj je se spreminja – kot se mi spreminjamo, kot se vse spreminja. Enkrat v preteklosti smo gledali na streho, kot čisto nekaj drugačnega, kot, ko danes pogledamo kaj za nas pomeni beseda streha. Svet se spreminja, ampak naša podzavestna slika, naše naučeno znanje včasih – pogosto ne sledi našemu lastnemu razvoju. Da smo to kar smo – moramo dovoliti to kar je. Razširiti definicijo, dovoliti sebi, da smo vse kar “hočemo” biti in vse kar “nočemo”, da je (notranje – dovoljevanje je notranje). Na ta način “nočemo” sam najde svoj konec. Ampak najprej moramo biti iskreni in priznati sebi kar je in najti način, da ljubimo to kar je, to kar smo – popolnoma, vključno z všeč in ne-všeč.

There is a certain moment in which a person realizes who they really are. It is a define moment that offers us he truth of who we are. Some search for big revolutionizing ideas, but truth be told it is as simple as seeing your internal struggle for the first time up- close. It is as easy as stopping for a millisecond and deciphering, admitting, allowing yourself to be exactly as you are. Regardless of what you might believe that is – good, bad, perfect, wrecked.

It is merely a belief of what we interpret our internal feelings to be. The truth is the strength lies in seeing, whatever is. There is nothing more easy or complex than seeing who we are. It is easy as it requires only to stop and see. It is hard as it requires to admit to ourselves who we are – truly, internally – what it is we feel. Regardless of the fact if we want to feel so or not.

The titles of who we are might fall into the category of… I am angry, I am sad, I am confused, I am dishonest, I am scared, I am…. whatever it is – that we are. Why is it hard to admit to ourselves what is? The only thing that can change, transform and transmute that which is – is seeing it, allowing it, accepting it, loving it. But we have a certain idea, of who we are, of what we want to be, of who we want to be perceived as. This image holds us back. For example, if I am a spiritual being, a healer, a prophet, whatever I believe to be. Then this label carries within all the details of what I believe a prophet, healer, spiritual being looks like, does, acts, etc. And that is what I allow others to see. Those qualities we define as part of who we see ourselves as. But that is not the truth. As a spiritual being, we might think we always have to be up, but there are so many times when we to are down. And that is as spiritual as the up part. There is no growth without falling, there is no sun without the rain. The depth of understanding comes from the exploration of our own shadows. This is the truth.

For us to be who we are we must stop labeling ourselves. As each label subconsciously caries within expectations. Expectations of who we should be if we are to fit the label. This way we will never be – what we truly are, as we will always want to fit that which we define as »spiritual«, »healer«, »successful«. There is none of that. It is a new era – definitions of what something is change – as we change, as everything changes. Once in the past a roof was seen completely different from that which we today see a roof. The world changes, but our subconscious image, our learnt knowledge sometimes – many times does not follow our own development. In order to be what we are – we must allow what is. Broaden the definition, allow ourselves to be all that we »want« to be and all that we »do not want« to be (internally – the allowance is internal). In this way the »do not want« will find its own end. But first we must be honest and admit to ourselves what is and find a way to love, that which we are – completely, likes and dislikes included.